Asking questions of my wife while she’s in a panic attack has never worked well for me Ryan Engelstad. She’s to dysregulated to answer.

I’ve tried many of the things on your DO list and the thing that never worked well for me and my wife (at the time) was asking questions like those you recommend.

Each question (“Do you want this?” or “May I that?”) just added to her cognitive load. It was like giving her a homework assignment, and she hated being further embarrassed by her inability to answer.

“I don’t know!” she might say back at me.

Here’s what did work:

What I Did For My Wife’s Anxiety

Maybe Brett Murphy will want to read it because his wife suffers from anxiety, too.