I think we can work on our own trauma, thru introspection and rewriting the narrative of our own lives, without being in a relationship at all. I also think we seek trauma resolution thru relationships, because it is in relationships that we were traumatized.

Finding a partner willing and able to facilitate resolution of trauma is rare and valuable, because so many relationships are driven by trauma bonding that the partners are either engaged in a power struggle (control) or they seek to prevent their partner from resolving trauma, lest that partner abandon the relationship.

I wrote more about it here:

https://medium.com/storygarden/when-is-love-a-trauma-bond-7d5d6ec6fa62