Turn the drama triangle upside down.
The drama triangle specifies specific roles, or job descriptions. For example, someone might make an invitation to a drama game in which they play the victim and you play the rescuer, like:
Can you believe what my boss said to me at work today?
No one can play the drama game by themselves. They need at least one partner to fill in another vertex of the triangle, and there’s usually no shortage of partners seeking the biochemical reward that comes with a little drama.
By contrast, Melody Wilding’s “winning triangle” specifies character traits, not job descriptions. They’re all wonderful traits, too. Vulnerable, caring, and assertive are a good combination for anyone, not specific to triangular role play.
To turn the drama triangle upside-down, we have to specify new job descriptions, not just character traits. They are:
- Persecutor to Challenger
- Victim to Champion
- Rescuer to Coach
The beauty of this approach is that it doesn’t depend on what other people do. you can unilaterally make this switch in your own mind, without necessitating a change in any of the others’ behaviors or communication patterns. The transition is all in your own process of making meaning.
So the next time you get an invitation to play a good drama game, you can turn it upside down and play a good personal growth game instead.
