1. “What about interacting with women on a daily basis isn’t safe?” is the right question. On campus, mandatory sexual harassment training teaches men (and boys) that harassment is judged by the feelings a woman has about an interaction. There are no objective standards, and her feelings are allowed to change over time. The consequences of a woman having negative feelings about an interaction can be draconian, including expulsion without due process, which is to say that most men come to the conclusion that it’s not safe to interact with women on a daily basis.
2. We agree!
3. Yes, thanks for asking. Men have a lot to learn by talking with women.
4. I’m not going to speak to state of self-esteem in the wives/girlfriends who visit strip clubs. Nor will I speak for those who visit art museums, or sporting events, or the symphony, or the ballet. Studies show couples who have shared novel experiences enjoy better relationship quality (e.g., https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2000-13328-006), but I’m not familiar with any that measured self-esteem.

The only advice that is worth anything is, “This is what worked for me.”

Thanks for writing.