Thomas P Seager, PhD
2 min readSep 4, 2021


You've overlooked the four legit reasons for men to visit strip clubs.

They are:

1. Men don't know what they like, because they don't have safe environments in which to experiment. Do they like small boobs? Long legs? Short hair? A strip club is like a display of different female body types -- like a catalog of possibilities that allow men to explore in their imagination what their preferences are.

2. Men don't know what turns them on. Your experience shows how strippers have learned to explore and experiment with what is arousing. What stories? What experiences? What moves?

3. Men need practice talking with women. Strippers will afford them that practice without shaming them for the fears they carry into the conversation.

4. The final reason is the most controversial, and I will explain it anyway. When a man goes to the strip club with his wife or girlfriend, she will see him in an environment in which other attractive women (strippers) are deferential to him, pleasant to him, attentive to him, and interested in him. It won't matter that these women are seeking money from him. What will matter is that she sees him as the object of their attention. Her attitude towards and expectations of him will change, and if she is at all attracted to her boy friend, the preselection effect of other women will strengthen that attraction.

For my part, I used to be uncomfortable in strip clubs, which was probably enough of a reason to go without all the four ther reasons I listed above. However, once these four reasons were explained to me, I realized they were all legit for me, too, and some of my discomfort went away.

So I accepted an invitation from a woman I was dating, to accompany her to a birthday party at a strip club where a number of couples would be celebrating.

To read about what happened to me, read: